3 Failsafe Ways to Embarrass Harry Potter
by Scarlett Rogue
Summary: Wanna make the black-haired boy blush? Try these methods for perfect results each time! Warning: May result in major hexing from The Boy Who Lived.


**Sorry I've been gone so long people, thanks so much for your reviews! Now, onto a fic I wrote about seven months ago :)**

**Rating: T for suggestive content**

**Summary: Three things that are sure to make the raven-haired boy blush...or perhaps die.**

**Disclaimer: "I DON'T WANNA BE FRENCH!"~ leather pants youtube**

1. Random Outbursts

"...Just another way to try to piss me off, and boy is it working!" Harry muttered to Ron and Hermione in the Great Hall one morning. Every few seconds he shot a glare at Severus Snape, who was still smiling from the detention he had given Harry last night.

"Just don't let him get to you," Hermione said, seemingly not realizing thatshe had been giving Ron dirty looks all morning.

"Kinda hard, since he's embarrassing me in front of my Quidditch team."

"You think that's embarrassing?" Ron smirked and jumped up from his seat, standing on the table.

"Ron, what are you-"

"HARRY POTTER SUCKS TOES!"

Silence followed Ron's outburst as he slid back into his seat. Then, all at once, girls all over the hall were rushing to ask the Chosen One to suck their toes.

"See," Ron said as Harry told Romilda Vane for the third time that he did not suck toes, "how could Snape possibly embarrass you after this?"

Harry groaned and slammed his head on the table.

2. The Talk

"Harry," Fred said during Christmas after Celestina wailed her last note, "Have the Dursley's ever given you 'the talk'?"

"What talk?"

"You know, _the _talk." Fred made a hole with his fingers on one hand and put his index finger through said hole numerous times to demonstrate. Harry felt his face turn red when he realized that everyone was watching, seeming intrigued with the conversation.

"Well, um...no."

"We must tell you, then!" George cut in. "You see, when two people really love each other-"

"-or are really turned on by each other-" Fred added.

"-they have certain feelings for each other. So they start snogging, then viciously tearing each others clothes off-"

"No, George," Mrs. Weasley cut in, "They do it slowly, it's more romantic that way."

"Maybe _you _do it slowly." George rolled his eyes. "Anyways, the man takes his p-"

"Please, I already know the mechanics!" Harry protested, horrified.

"-and puts it in the woman's v-"

"Very biased, don't you think?" Charlie piped in. "What if the bloke is gay?" Everyone began nodding.

"But Harry isn't gay, is he?" Ginny asked.

"'Course not," Ron said, then added "are you?"

"NO!" Harry curled into a ball and prayed this would be over soon.

"Good! So So what happens next is the man thrusts a bit and sparks fly!"

"And then-"

"I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!"

3. Harry's Diary

The sixteen-year-old wizard sat in the Griffindor common room, feigning interest in his History of Magic book. He was actually rather stealthily shooting glances at Ginny.

"We should probably have a meeting tonight, Harry," Hermione was saying on his other side. Instead of answering, he got up and strolled over to Ginny's side, pretending to admire her superb drawing.

"Beautiful..." He heard slip through his lips, but luckily he was staring at the pastel replica of Hogwarts when Ginny looked up.

"Thanks, it took a long time to get to this point." She smiled again and glanced at the dark-haired boy whose eyes seemed fixed on hers.

"Yes, 15 years is a bit long, isn't it?" Harry muttered uncontrollably.

"Beg your pardon?"

"Oh, um..."Ginny watched with delight as Harry turned a lovely shade of crimson in the cheeks.

"What I meant was...Would you fancy a butterbeer?"

"Well, I guess-"Ginny was interrupted by a red-headed boy about the same age as Harry who ran down the stairs in a huff, a small book in his hand.

"Harry, I found your diary, but I swear I didn't mean to hear about your hairy leg fetish, honestly!" Ron came to a halt in front of his shell-shocked best friend.

"You-but-my-grhn..."Harry stammered. Ginny pulled her robes on slowly, turning from him to hide her grin.

"I also happened to read that you wack off at least twice a day, but I swear I didn't mean to, mate, Honestly!"

"You-I...I do NOT have a hairy leg fetish!" Harry blushed as everyone in the common room turned to stare at him.

"Oh...Fred and George must have added that in, it didn't look like your hand-writing anyway."

"Wait, you studied my hand-writing? How much did you read?"

"Just a page...or two...or ten," Ron stuttered. harry lowered his voice so that only Ron and Ginny could hear.

"Ron, that was-"

"So you DO wack off at least twice a day!" Ginny cut him off, the corners of her mouth turned up into a smile.

"Um-What?"

"Well, you didn't get defensive about that part, did you, Harry?" With one last grin she turned and made her way up the stairs to the girls dorm.

"Great, not only did she not answer my question, but she'll also probably refuse to touch my hand from now on."

**Hope everyone enjoyed, I'll write more soon if you like! Please read my other stories if you haven't already! Thanks, peeps!**


End file.
